


In Dreams, Fading

by clockwork_raptorbot



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Fade Dreams, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 05:06:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12314343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clockwork_raptorbot/pseuds/clockwork_raptorbot
Summary: Anders remembers the first time he dreamed of Justice.





	In Dreams, Fading

Hawke's questions about Justice haunt Anders long after he returns to the clinic to sleep. It's better than remembering the blankness in Karl's eyes and that final burst of panic. Anything is better than feeling: grief, helpless rage. His friend's blood is still under his nails. Anders doubts it'll ever wash away.

He wasn't entirely honest with Hawke about Justice, but he never has been. Not when it comes to the spirit.

Anders rolls over on his cot. He misses the purr of Ser Pounce-A-Lot. The cat used to curl on his chest, as if to protect him from nightmares. (It worked.) That jittery purr and the contented little mews Pouncy made while asleep always made him smile.

The smallest details are the ones that sting worst, paper cuts for the mind: a cat's affection, the touch of Karl's hand on his cheek in the dark, the dawn rising over remembered mountain peaks.

And it's nights like this, bitter and heavy with regret, that he remembers the first time he let his body become Justice's host.

#

In the dream, Anders is a small boy again. He stands before a wall of glass as wide as the world, and on the other side is sprawls the aquamarine vastness of ocean. It's the Fade, dream-Anders knows, yet it manifests not as mist or shadow but as endless water: power and depth and wonder.

All is still. All is calm. It's soothing, standing before the glass. He wants never to step away.

A great shape drifts through the water towards him. It is gray like a storm, heavy and powerful, a round body layered with gorgeous fat and blade-like flippers. Its rounded head and curved muzzle are full of wisdom. The black eyes are ageless, depthless, knowing.

_Manatee_. His dream-self recognizes the ancient, honorable creature. _Lord of the Fade and Oceans. Bringer of Dreams._

Anders gazes up through the glass in wonder, raising one hand to touch the clear barrier between his flesh and the boundless magic.

"Child," the creature says, though it is not so much words spoken as words imprinted in the air, in his mind. "I have felt your anger, your fierceness, your grief. You have the power to change this world."

This is Justice, a physical incarnation of the spirit. Anders is soothed by the presence. He is not alone.

"What do I do?" Anders whispers.

The manatee looks down upon him with grave benevolence. Its words will haunt him, drive him, damn him. (He will do that himself.)

"Set it all on fire, child."

#

Anders lies awake, staring into the dark. Fire is a beginning and an end. Death and rebirth. He is made of fire.

He sits up, restless. He can't sleep. There is so much he must do. If he's moving, planning, acting, then he has no time to remember.

When he touches the Fade, he no longer sees Karl dreaming.

The whisper—that gnawing, burning whisper—follows him. It has become his own thought as much as it was once Justice's.

_Set it all on fire, child._

**Author's Note:**

> written for a friend, based on this meme: https://bareknucklewriter.files.wordpress.com/2016/03/set-it-all-on-fire.jpg


End file.
